The Fat Gay revisted...again

First, I find it interesting that I am giving yet another shout out to one of my two loyal viewers. But, hey, maybe we will both get more recognition that way. I guess it really doesn’t matter.

Are Traditional Romances dead or do people still hold true to them? But, what are ‘traditional romances’ to begin with?

Mr. Gay believes the engagement ring to be one. A symbol of eternity, a circle of life and love filled with one other person-and only one other person. “A bond shared with one another and with God.” First of all, why does God have anything to do with it? The bond possessed by the two individuals is for them and them alone. Though, traditionally thinking, people were married in the church before the hand of God and all that hoopla. But, there were times when “God” as he is known in the western, Christian sense was not always celebrated. The ancient Egyptians still believed in marriage, though their gods were far from the all knowing, mighty God in today’s time. Same with the Ancient Greeks and Romans. Therefore, could we really state that God should be involved with the engagement ring? I think not.

On the basis of picking one out…this is more of a 19th century tradition as prior to then, the man would formally ask the father or family of the young woman and maybe a small token of affection from the man would be given to the woman, but normally in the form of an old locket or pin of some sort. The engagement ring we know today only started in the early 1900’s when wealth and power started to be expressed through adornment and who was able to get the most ‘precious’ of the precious in the biggest size. When love still had nothing to do with it, but more on the lines of how much your husband-to-be made as opposed to how much your father was giving him to marry you. Obviously in the early 1900’s, the woman’s opinion meant nothing, so the man would pick out the ring, probably the bigger the better he thought since she wouldn’t be there to help him out. If the diamond was big enough, hopefully it would obscure the fact that the setting wasn’t just right. But, relating to today’s times, when the woman sometimes has more say than the man, would it be better for the man to still pick out the ring or should the woman have some sort of say in it? Considering we are out of the barbaric ways of “I see woman, me must marry” society, and the act of marriage is something that should be gone over in some detail prior to any engagement ring bought and exchanged hands, it should be the responsibility of both parties to make the decision. Go together, when the time is right, have the woman pick out two or three styles (with in reason). That way, when the man goes back to buy ‘the ring’ it will still be a surprise, but the woman would undoubtedly like it. I say if a man can’t pick out the right ring for woman, they don’t deserve to be married. The same can go with if the man doesn’t allow the woman’s in put…

But, why do we need an engagement ring to begin with? You receive a wedding ring, which is the band that symbolizes eternal love, so why does some gaudy, gold ring puking diamonds all over your finger need to be given? To symbolize how much money your husband-to-be makes over someone else's? To remind the woman she is shackled to this one man and can’t even look at another? To be a high-beam to all other men playing the field? Does this really transmit love anymore?

I do not feel that the engagement ring is a ‘traditional romance’. The real romance is the love and openness shared among those two people that allowed them to get to that point in their lives to begin with.

But, romances can be different for different people. What makes the essence of true love can be different compared to others essence. As long as it is there, that is all that should really matter. And Mr. Gay is correct in stating, if there is no true romance (no matter what it is) what is the point? Humans have these emotions for a reason (why, I do not know) but we have them. We can foolishly go through life denying the feelings, or accept them. The decision is up to you. Of course, HOW you act on them can definitely make a difference in how people see and respect you.

Ciao!