As I was jumping into my new pair of jeans this morning I realized, as I was carefully maneuvering the top around my underwear, that I had put my underwear on inside out. Now, this may not bother the normal/standard human. But it bothers me to no end. What bothers me more is the fact that it bothers me so much that I can not just take them off and turn them right side out because the cotton has already touched my flesh and I can’t have that then touch my unwashed new pair of jeans. I could consider putting on a brand new washed pair of underwear, but then I would have wasted these already clean then soiled pair I have on already. The fact that I know this is probably not a normal person’s line of thinking gives me hope that one day these thoughts will suddenly disappear. The need to wash my hands after touching anything another human has touched it has gradually dissipated over time. Now all that lingers is the fact I just don’t touch certain objects that other humans have touched. Particularly door handles, toilet handles, condiment bottles, telephones, pens or any shiny, non-porous surface where the germs tend to linger-at least in my mind. The invention of the automatic doors was a God-send on so many levels, though I’m sure God, if one does exist, had nothing to do with it. Blasphemy! Whatever.
I was unable to lose that one pound I had hoped to lose before the day of today. Today being my birthday. I guess I should have set my goal a couple of weeks prior instead of just a mere 3 days. I thought I might have lost a pound by some miracle. I spend my days sedentary on my bum at work, my evenings running that same bum off, but then the ice cold beer in the fridge knows just the right way to call me for me to run to it in a zombie-like manner. Before I even realize it the cap is off and half of the cold goodness has already hit the beginnings of my digestive tract. So needless to say, that one pound is somewhere stuck on my body due to Mr. Labatt for I know it’s not my fault…entirely.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I don't like peas
I have a wedgie. I’ve had it pretty much all day today. I know it’s my underwear. The underwear that every woman says they are the best because you can get away with walking around your house in them, they don’t show lines in tight pants and they are just so dang comfortable. I am not comfortable. Can people tell if you have an underwear wedgie?
I bought a slimmer to wear under this dress I bought. Funny thing is I look the same with or without it on. I have a bit more defined shape with it on, but I guess I really don’t have as many bulges to hide as I thought. Good for me, now only if I could keep it that way after I eat a half of apple.
I hate being in between. The in between where if I eat nothing all day I can just squeeze into a size 2 pair of jeans but as soon as I eat a full meal that button is going to pop. I never aimed at wearing a size 2, it just happened. My goal was a 4 and I was quite happy with that. But now that I am at the in between, I want that size 2. Will the cycle never end?
I like movies just as much as the next person. My idea of a good movie is a little different than most. I like documentaries, movies based on true events and historical accounts. I don’t like sappy, pretentious love stores or stupid comedies that are anything but comedic. I do, however, like the occasional no plot intended action film or true drama that involves the male hero being a dreamy young starlet.
And on a rare occasion I don’t mind grabbing a completely moronic film just to laugh at with a couple of beers and a couple of friends. There is no shame in that and I don’t mind telling people that. At the same time I guess people don’t mind telling me how stupid I am for saying that. Well, I don’t feel stupid because I like to watch a stupid movie once every couple of months. It’s when I open mouth insert foot is when I feel stupid. And I have been doing that more often than not lately. Maybe I need to eat more. Go back up in size instead of trying to go down. No, I don’t think so. I’m just so tired anymore. Too much running not enough eating. Too much thinking not enough doing. Or maybe it’s my lack of pea consumption. I probably eat about 10 peas a year. And it’s the same way an average person swallows about the same amount of spiders-by accident. If I see a pea, I eat around it or pick it out. If I eat a pea, I usually don’t realize it until it’s too late.
I bought a slimmer to wear under this dress I bought. Funny thing is I look the same with or without it on. I have a bit more defined shape with it on, but I guess I really don’t have as many bulges to hide as I thought. Good for me, now only if I could keep it that way after I eat a half of apple.
I hate being in between. The in between where if I eat nothing all day I can just squeeze into a size 2 pair of jeans but as soon as I eat a full meal that button is going to pop. I never aimed at wearing a size 2, it just happened. My goal was a 4 and I was quite happy with that. But now that I am at the in between, I want that size 2. Will the cycle never end?
I like movies just as much as the next person. My idea of a good movie is a little different than most. I like documentaries, movies based on true events and historical accounts. I don’t like sappy, pretentious love stores or stupid comedies that are anything but comedic. I do, however, like the occasional no plot intended action film or true drama that involves the male hero being a dreamy young starlet.
And on a rare occasion I don’t mind grabbing a completely moronic film just to laugh at with a couple of beers and a couple of friends. There is no shame in that and I don’t mind telling people that. At the same time I guess people don’t mind telling me how stupid I am for saying that. Well, I don’t feel stupid because I like to watch a stupid movie once every couple of months. It’s when I open mouth insert foot is when I feel stupid. And I have been doing that more often than not lately. Maybe I need to eat more. Go back up in size instead of trying to go down. No, I don’t think so. I’m just so tired anymore. Too much running not enough eating. Too much thinking not enough doing. Or maybe it’s my lack of pea consumption. I probably eat about 10 peas a year. And it’s the same way an average person swallows about the same amount of spiders-by accident. If I see a pea, I eat around it or pick it out. If I eat a pea, I usually don’t realize it until it’s too late.
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