Oh I forgot...

It is March 31 and I forgot to pay my 'rent'. Every month...every stinking month. It doesn't help that I am so used to not going home for lunch that I decided to stay at work (actually for fear I would not make it back into work if I left the office building) so I couldn't just throw her the check on the way out the door. Oh well, she'll deal.
On to more pressing matters.
I used to date a guy who was adamant I mean COMPLETELY adamant on letting me know all the time that he only washes with unscented soap and uses unscented deodorant. No lotions or colognes of any sort. Ok, then why did you smell like a freaking Axe commercial then freak? Yeah, that's right-you SMELLED! And his hands were so super dry that they looked and felt disgusting. "These are a man's hands" Fuck off-you can take care of yourself just like anyone else without feeling any less of a man. And if you feel that way, then YOU are the one with the problem.
I'm gonna eat me a Reese's peanut butter cup. Yum.
And this whole Blue for baby boy and Pink for baby girl is the most annoying start to segregation of the sexes. I don't know what's more annoying-those two colors, or the fact that more people are starting to bring in Yellow and Green so not to be gender specific in clothes picking. Why don't I just dress my little boy in a dress and my little girl in a jumper suit? That will really fuck with their heads. Who the hell cares-it's a freaking baby. Spending more money on a stupid outfit they will out grow in about two weeks anyway is unnecessary. Just wrap them in a towel and call it a day. They will mess up the nice new outfit one way or another plus they can't really move around much.
I think I'm a bit angry today. I blame it on the annoying receptionist and the fact my feet hurt for some reason. Oh her voice is like finger nails on a chalk board. I could just go outside for a walk...but my feet hurt. I hope it's not due to my new, over priced shoes. Maybe I'm just not used to them yet? I'll give it a few more runs and see what happens.
I'm done complaining for now.

Ciao!

Mind numbing

I can't complain, too much. I fall into that category of "Let's make plans...oops, I forgot" all the time. I usually am drunk, too focused on something else or have more than one thing going on. I can understand how this would annoy people as it annoys me when they do it to me.
But, in my defense, I always state prior to the commencement of an evening of fun: "Do not make plans with me for another occasion as I will just forget about them later." That way it's kind of like a free-be. I told you quite sober that I would forget, so now it's your fault if you disregard that information and attempt to make plans with me anyway.
I am trying to remain more sober, though. Mainly because I do not want to drive anymore if I ever drink and I have to keep up my stamina while running.
I'm thinking of going to Sharon, PA on Friday. That sounds interesting. Well, again, unless I have something better to write about I suppose this will be all for now.

Ciao!

Freedom Duck

I have a day off, a new license (they let me take a new picture!) and nothing to do. I heard that it is supposed to be super nice this weekend. I've been trying to search for something to do. This is probably what I will end up doing:

Run, watch a movie, get some lunch then crash until Saturday when I am going to go get some FREEDOM DUCK! Li Wah Asian Plaza and hit up The West Side Market. Nice. Until I find something better to talk about...Toe Box! HA

I am always hungry

I love the fact that I have three programs running on my home computer right now and I am able to go back and forth between them, scroll, and actually use them all without the three hour wait it would normally take to type a letter while using dial up. I LOVE TECHNOLOGY! Only when it is working for me, and not against me. For the most part it works against me. Well, I think it's just my lack of knowledge-inanimate objects can't DO anything unless you program it...oooooh robots!
Ever get a new piece of machinery at home or at work and refuse to read the 300 page manual that comes with it? No matter if it is a new cell phone or a giant copy machine that has 14 compartments and 250 different colored buttons that beep at you "no, no, no, no, no" every time you touch one of them out of sequence. Anyway, you challenge yourself-"I know how to do this. How hard could it possibly be?" Oh, mere mortal, it would have taken less time to sit on the beach (including the plane trip to the beach) sipping on a Colata and reading, in detail, the entire manual than it would to try to figure out the dang contraption yourself.
I guess that's a bit of an exaggeration. I can usually figure things out given the time.
Every runner I have ever known (2) has told me: I run because I eat, I eat because I run. SO TRUE! I LOVE FOOD! And, thank goodness, I enjoy running. I knew that when I started training I would lose weight rather quickly because I upped my miles from 10-12 a week to 17-25 a week. That's a lot of mileage so you better believe I have lost 3 pounds in just two weeks. Yeah, 3 pounds is not much, but when you have to pack in the carbs during the day so you can maintain a good pace for over 3 miles and up, 3 pounds is a lot. And that is just the first 2 weeks of training. As with my last training schedule 8 months ago, I will lose the weight but most likely gain it back in a few weeks after the marathon. I'll forget to stop eating so much, but once I get back on track it will just be a maintaining situation. I'm good with that.
I need to start weight training again. It's just difficult to keep everything on track-running, weight training, eating, sleeping, working, trying to have a life. Yeah, that last one is going to quickly dwindle within the next couple of weeks, so I better do what I can and love now while I have the time and energy.
I lost my train of thought-did I have one? I need to get my dads birthday present together so he can actually use it when he opens it up in a few days. Which reminds me, I need to go to the liquor store...well, my sister needs to take me anyway!

Ciao!

Ginger Biscuits

Just another day I suppose. I was wondering when I may have an actual thought worth blogging, but I haven't had one yet. Maybe tomorrow? For a split second I thought it was Friday. No, really, I did. I even almost posted "Beautiful Friday" on my facebook page, but then realized it is only Wednesday. Why? Because I am in a good mood. I am usually only in a good mood on Friday so I was taken aback for a moment.
My brother and I made biscuits last night in the shape of ginger bread men. A nice little treat for my co-workers. They were a big hit. Very good, very good. That's what happens when the last time you drank was Saturday and you have two beers and a shot. HAHAHA Saturday! That is so true. Let's make some biscuits! What are you putting in there? Does it matter? They turned out pretty good. I haven't told anyone the ingredients, and no one has asked. Your secret is safe with me ;)
My computer has been 'talking' to me all day. This high pitched churning sound. Kind of like a cricket on cocaine. There it is again. Yes, computer, I am talking about you! What are you going to do? Huh? Oh, wait, I shouldn't provoke an inanimate object that can ruin my work day if it decides to go ca put on me. Speaking of inanimate objects: GIGANTOR! Gigantor the space age robot. Bigger than big, taller than tall. Faster than fast, stronger than strong. His power is in your hand! Gigantor!
The year is 2000 and a robot built by, what I assume is a dead scientist-but we really wouldn't know considering the story just kind of starts, throws you right into the picture without much of a back story. Use your imagination! It's pretty hard when the cartoon drawings are as adolescent as the plot to the original 1963 television show. Anyway, the robot saves the humans only because a young boy is operating him. He doesn't think, talk or do anything other than what the little boy tells him to do. Interesting how the fate of humanity is left in the hands of a little boy and his giant robot toy. GIGANTOR!
The sound is driving me mad I say! MAD! I should probably leave the vicinity of the computer for a bit to allow my head to relax before I am forced to sit through another 3.5 hours of the incisive high pitched churning sound it continues to make.
AHHHHHH!!

Ciao!

Not so beautiful

At least the weekend was nice and I spent a good chunk of it outdoors. Well, the good chunk I spent was in cardio workout mode, but it was still spent.
I decided I want to become a spy for the American government. No, a double agent for the Columbian government. Well, I just blew my cover. Now what? I'm going to go back to school to become a librarian. You need schooling for that? Not just one of those old lady's that sits on her tuff and yells at you for being too loud, but someone who actually uses the brain they have for intellectual reasons such as research and the dewey decimal system. I love that system! Remember the card catalogue from grade school? I swear they just put them together to test the students to weed out all the stupid ones. Ever wonder why your best friend would show up to school one day and then the next they weren't there, yet no one really knew what happened to them? Did they have strep throat, chicken pox or worse yet...LICE?! Oh, good old SMT and their lice scares. It was because of one family, and don't try to tell me any differently. I will not mention their names, but let's just say if you walked into any class room you were bound to find a family memeber there. Luckily, there wasn't any in my class, just about every one below. I'm sure they are still there-procrating into the world. Isn't there the 'survival of the fitest' gene in that group? Maybe they are the fitest. Oh goodness, what does the human race have to look forward to now?
I still need a hair cut. I should look into different ideas. I think I'm going to get it done within the next week or two. I can't take it anymore.
Well, lunch is about over and I have to pee.

BEA-U-TIFUL!

I need a hair cut only due to the fact it is starting to look raggity. Is that a word? It is now. I like the length and the layers, but it just needs to be cut. I know, going to the $11.99 hair cut palace, I will not be happy with my cut until about 5 weeks down the road, but I need to do it. And since I don't have the liezure of going out myself to the $25.99 place (which I'm sure will end up doing an even worse job) I will go to the $11.99 place-Hey, I think I might have a coupon! CUPON! HAHAHA I hate when people say that. CUPON! There wouldn't be an extra vowel in the word if it was pronounced that way. Though I hate the english language anyway. Oh, crap, I forgot: I was going to take a walk at lunch. But instead I am writing in my blog. Oh the humanity! I would rather sit in the florescently lit, stuffy office where the air is recycled throughout the day then go out in the bright sun, cool breeze and collect some much needed vitamin D. I'll get that later tonight, though now is the best time to collect it if one would want to.
My neighbor is 9 months and 3 days pregnant. Holy crow! At about 10am this morning she stated how she is now 3 centimeters dialated and having contractions. Well, it's about dang time is all I have to say. I saw her last night and I swear she was thinking: Give me a knife, I'll get this kid out! But then her recovery time would be too long and she wouldn't be able to run for months. Maybe I'll have another running buddy soon. I think her pace will far surpass mine, though. I've been struggling with keeping my pace steady, but as long as I finish, I'm good with that.
Well, anyway, I don't really know where I was going with any of this besides the fact I would rather be outside than in here. Hopefully the afternoon will go by faster than the morning did.
Well, here's to a good weekend!

Ciao!

blockage

In my brain and in my intestine...what else is new? I've tried to write two different blogs with no success. Time is running out and the receptionist is getting antsy (isn't she always).
So, I leave you on this note: There will be more to follow in the evening hours. Tomorrow's Friday!!

Ciao!

Who was Maewyn?

I suppose the better question would be: Who was St. Patrick?

There are many different ideas and symbols associated with St. Patrick's Day. But, as with most religious holidays, the true meaning has been lost to many.

A pagan by the name of Maewyn was born in Wales, AD385. Sold into slavery at the age of 16, Maewyn took this time to become closer to God. Finally escaping some six years later, Maewyn devoted his life to the Catholic faith, even taking the Christian name Patrick.
Studying at a monastery in Gaul for twelve years, Patrick dreamed of becoming bishop of Ireland and converting pagans to the Christian religion. Eventually becoming the second Bishop of Ireland, Patrick led his crusade of converting pagans by building schools and churches for the next 30 years.
The well known symbol of Ireland, the shamrock, was actually made a traditional symbol of St. Patrick's Day since Patrick had used the shamrock to help teach the Holy Trinity-showing the separate elements of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit existing as one entity. Irish Catholics would then declare to "wear your green" or pin on your shamrock in accordance of his teachings.
Dying March 17, AD461, Patrick's legacy lived on. Though never officially canonized as a saint, the Catholic holiday of St. Patrick's Day still commenced.
Celebrated mainly in Ireland as a national holiday: pubs, banks and post offices would close down in remembrance of the Catholic bishop, though the Americans knew little about the celebration.
Then, in the late 1700's, as the Irish immigrants flooded the east coast of America, they brought with them their traditions. In a new world, far from home and American's looking down on them because they were poor and spoke broken English in a harsh accent, many Irishmen were even more homesick.
March 17, 1762, Irish soldiers in the English army marched through the streets of New York City playing their country's music, allowing them to reconnect with their Irish roots and locate other Irishmen who immigrated to America. This first 'parade' on St. Patrick's Day started the tradition that continues to this day. Many well-known cities throughout the US have giant parades in celebration. Bagpipes playing, shamrocks waving in a sea of green. But why green? Another common Irish color is orange, though this color tends to be against the Catholic traditions (the separation of the country between Catholics and Protestants). But green never was St. Patrick's color, it actually was blue. The Irish flag, the King's coat of arms and the Irish guards all sported the color blue-which later was called "St. Patrick's Blue". Over time, the symbolism of the shamrock St. Patrick used related to the term of "wear your green". Some people starting taking this quite literally and actually wore green on St. Patricks Day-becoming Irish for a day.
Others associate the ritualistic wearing of green to the beginning of spring.
No matter why the change, it is a known fact that thousands of people-Irish and non-Irish alike, sport their green finery, parade in the streets, take refuge in the nearest pub, bask in Guinness and corned beef until the sun goes down every St. Patrick's Day.
So lift up your glasses in celebration as yet another holiday formed from Catholic beliefs has turned into a drink fest.

Don't worry, I'm not even going there with the evil little leprechauns and their pots of gold!

...Alas, no

I would like to just take this time to be serious for once in my life. As I was writing the words yesterday in relief thinking that a good man and neighbor was still clinging to life, I find out later that was not the case. Unfortunately he passed away yesterday morning.
Life will go on, as the moment you are born is the moment you start to die. It's just hard to think about all of the trivial complications within your life when someone's is taken away.

Good news?

Well, it would seem that my neighbor is still hanging on. I almost wonder if it would be better for him just to let go. To think, what a will he must have to live. 91 years old, or is it 92? he was diagnosed with cancer about 7 months ago. He hasn't been able to eat much of anything, yet on his birthday December 23, he seemed as happy as a clam to have his house filled with family and friends.
My parents and I, the nosey neighbors we are, stared in stunned silence yesterday morning as we saw the ambulance pull onto our circle. The EMT's were moving too slowly for there to be a real emergency, which only made the three of us think the worse. My mom quickly retreated downstairs to let out a cry for one of the best human beings ever to live. Would it not be better for him to leave this earth where his body would not allow him to do the things he once loved-golfing, shopping, eating out with friends and family, chit-chatting with the neighbors and feeding the children sugary goodness their parents won't allow them in their own home?
And then you have these young teenagers who kill themselves in a suicide pact. For what reason? Could their lives, what little of it they have lived, really be that horrible that they would end it on their own accord, when a man who has gone through war and remembers every heartbreaking detail, watched his own wife deteriorate in front of him, watched his children and grandchildren grow up in front of his eyes, cling on to life with nothing but little more than a string.
He is still alive...today. But he does not have much life inside of him to go on. It almost makes you think life in a different way, doesn't it?

The day after...

Shit...Oh Shit. The words I know I uttered at least seven or eight times between the hours of 3pm and 9pm. For all I knew...I don't remember anything after some time in the day.
Another day of random drinking. Well, it was my last binge, so I guess I went all out. Seriously. I knew the mistake was made when I decided to get the all-you-can-drink special. Never get the all-you-can-drink-special unless you want to die.
OK, let's think about this: 8:30 in the morning, you go to breakfast with your dad and brother, meet up with some family members. No big deal, right? Well, when you throw in St. Patrick's Day, bottomless cups of beer and a card game-not to mention shots, shots and oh my God, more shots...Shit. Has my stomach settled, yet? I don't know what happened after 2:30 in the afternoon. I hope I paid the bar tab. I have never blacked out like that before...a hole chunk of the day just gone. All gone. Well, some of it was left somewhere in the bathroom, I'm sure.
Ok, let's not talk about that anymore I think I'm going to be sick.
Six miles today...oh, I can totally do this!
Not to mention, I think my 91 year old neighbor may have died this morning. Let's take a moment of silence and offer up the empty beer glass to him. He deserves it. Wouldn't it be awesome if Caleb, my neighbors baby, were to be born today? As one takes his last breath, another one comes screaming into the world. I guess my day yesterday seems almost trivial compared to life in itself...

Smile! It's Friday!

I was driving to work this morning and I said to myself, damn, I look good today. I laughed out loud. Then I went into the factory, and my own opinion on myself was confirmed when a factory worker literally ran up to me so I could hear him over the machinery-“I just wanted to say I like your outfit today.” I don’t know, today’s a really good day. So what if it is not even lunch time.
Weird, I just saw the VP of the company run through the office. But then again, is it really that weird? If you knew him you probably wouldn’t think so. That reminds me of the time, oh, probably about 5 years ago, when he was running through the office of our old building and collided right into me. That should have been the day I said, See ya! But I still stayed on, it’s not like he didn’t say he was sorry-though it was mumbled incoherently as he kept running past. On second thought, did he even apologize? Mother…!
I stopped drinking coffee again for about a month. This week I have been drinking it like water. No wonder why I am so antsy today. Oh my goodness, the words are forming in my brain faster than I can type them out, which is causing me to leave out great sections. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fast typer, but even my fingers aren’t that fast! I think a feature length film was just created in my brain but I was too slow on the output to fully grasp the plot. Dangit. I could have won that Oscar! I blame it on the alcohol…or lack there of considering I haven’t drank since Sunday. I know, not even a week, and look at me! Falling apart at the seams!
Ok, technically I am writing this during working hours-though I probably won’t post it until lunch time. Maybe my next post will be from my house as I was fired for doing “unrelated work activity during working hours.” If that’s the case…well, needless to say, the economy, the fact we built a billion dollar building 4 years ago and the fact that management does not seem to truly grasp how to run a company successfully has created much down time for me. I have learned a lot of useless information. Like, well, the Easter Bunny for one. I also learned about Santa Claus, and in a few days you will see what I learned about on St. Patrick. Not to mention, how heavy human hair is, where the fat goes after you lose it…the list goes on my friends. Maybe I should just start blogging about all my google encounters. That would be fun!
Ok, so I understand that not many people have much to do here, but the receptionist keeps coming over to talk to me. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have gotten up and talked to you. Not to mention her grammar is like fingernails on a chalk board to me. I’m in too good of a mood to let that bog me down. On to better things! I don’t even know what I was talking about anymore. It’s ok, I’m just drunk! HAHAHA the two people that read this will get that reference.
Enjoy your Friday!

Ciao!

To write or not to write...

I asked myself that question because I don't really have anything to write about. Plus I added to my marathon training page, so I'm pretty much done. Actually, I'm not. Just thinking about the will power I lack, I really want to go out tonight and have a beer with some friends. Speaking of instigators-I got a call from my friend wondering why I'm not going out. After telling her, she mocked me for my change of life style so abruptly. I will not let that deter me. But wouldn't an ice cold beer be good right about now? I think it would be only for the fact that I am trying not to drink it, and I continue to talk about it. Reminds me of the three days I could not drink before I went to hotel jail. And then I find out I didn't have to not drink! It was a ploy to freak out the unsuspecting! Those dirty bastards! I do have to admit, and I've said it before, that was the best weekend with a bunch of strangers I have ever had. SOBER! Only 16 days...who's counting?
Ok, I do have a hidden agenda that I have not told anyone about. In June I'm going to meet up with some old college friends. Though I have lost probably about 40 pounds since the last time I saw them, I hope to get really toned up before I see them. I guess it's just a silly way for me to say: "Yeah, you are all married and have a significant other with babies and a good job, not living with your parents...but look at my hot body!" Eh, that's really stupid, isn't it? Oh well, whatever gets me going, right?
Sexy, sexy, hot! Hot! Just wait! You just wait and see!

Oh, do you notice the ads change depending on what I write about? How awesome is that? HA! Got stomach bloating problems??

No more constipation...

...but now it won't stop. Which is worse, the bloating and pressure from being constipated for two days, or the fact that once you are able to poop, it just won't stop coming? I was literally on the pot for 20 minutes with it screaming out of my back side. I seriously thought that if I looked in the murky water I might find a trail of my intestines, or worse, a liver. What would I do without my liver?! The cramps that presist are killing me! My eyeballs are swimming in tears of pain as I sit hunched over the keyboard right now. Which is the lesser of the two evils? Can't I just have a happy medium? Like, semi-loose stools that leave relief in its wake? Not constant pain that I can't even breathe.
Not to mention I was trying to run a good 3 miles when it started. I was able to run the 3 miles, but it wasn't good. And I'm sure the people around me didn't appreciate the gas expelling from my bung hole. Hey man, you got to do what you got to do. At the end of my run (which ended up lasting 4.5 miles) I grasped the sides of the treadmill, a grimace that some mistook for a smile of completion on my face. I don't poo in public, get me out of here and get me home! Of course I was stopped by every single traffic light and stuck behind a cell phone driver going 25 in a 35 and breaking every 5 seconds. Oh my Jesus! But I made it home and on the pot in time for it to bluuuuubluuuuubluuuup into the toilet water.
Wait, oops, got to go!

Ciao!

Hump Day

Today is what we consider "Hump Day". Mainly by working America, anyway. The middle of the work week-two days behind us and two days to go. Just to start it all over again. OK, I have been told that my posts are much too cynical and depressing. I am going to start over again and try to make them as upbeat as my life, I suppose. Not saying my life is completely upbeat, but I do have fun, contrary to what is read on this blog.
My Hump Day is decent so far. I am looking forward to the weekend because Saturday is the annual celebration of St. Patrick's Day. I don't celebrate during the week because, well, because I work during the week and if this year is anything like last year-Those birds are sluts! Oh, if you don't get the reference, I dare not explain. Let's just say Suessical The Musical and drinking since 8 in the morning are not a good combination. Whatever, those birds were freaking sluts.

I normally go to a local bar with my father where he meets up with his cousins. We have a 'normal' St. Patty's breakfast consisting of some sort of eggs, some sort of fried meat and maybe some toast thrown in there for good measure. This is followed up with a green beer. I normally don't like my beer green because I tend not to drink the watered down crap of the college years. And in actuality the meal is not followed up with the beer, the beer is followed up with the meal. You start drinking the moment you sit down at a card table with old-style diner chairs. The smell of grease is not one easily missed from the street, let alone from the doorway. You already know this, so you wear something that you are willing to toss in the "wash immediately or will be ruined for life" bin and have an outfit waiting for you on your bed when you return home in the drunken stuppor you are bound to be in. Every two or three beers is followed by a round of Jagger shots (with a bit of red bull for me, thank you). A round of pool is probably played, though the game can't be taken seriously as you are too afraid a ball will go flying from the table on hit someone on the head. Therefore, you opt for the less risky game of virtual bowling. But, again, this can not be taken seriously because everytime you roll the white ball, you almost slip on the floor due to the grease wafting through the air. Regardless how my time is spent at this dive bar, it is spent. And when I leave around 11am or noon the same words are always utter from my lips "Damn! It's light outside!" You some how make it home (thanking dad the whole way for only having coffee and one shot of Jagger) only to crack open a waiting beer at home so as not to loose your buzz and pass out in a drunken comma. Oh, let the day/night commence! I can not wait! I think I may pass out at 9pm as I am running 6 miles on Sunday...Oh who cares, it's only one day a year you are allowed to get drunk BEFORE the sun goes DOWN without being considered an alcoholic.
Here's to Saturday!

Ciao!

Maybe a little too much information?

Ok, I'm sorry, but I have to say this. I hate being sick because my body has this way of over reacting to everything. I can't take any sort of medicine for fear I will become loopy and say/do things I wouldn't normally (and that's saying a lot). No, they don't make be drowsy, they make me wacked out! So, not only do I have to go through the week of snot and sinus pressure without relief, but, on top of that, my body decides it doesn't want to eat, yet anything I do happen to consume will sit in my lower intestine pushing against my bladder but will not remove itself from my body. I will pee 100 times a day and still be thirsty, yet I can not poop. I just can't. I can push as long and hard as I want, the best thing to come is a bit-o-gas. My lower back will start hurting, my stomach will distent and I will be very uncomfortable. But I will not poop. I will start getting bloated, which is already happening, to the point where my eyes feel like they will bulge from my head. My fingers will look and feel like sausages and my socks will start leaving indentations around my ankles. My SOCKS! Light cotton fluff leaves marks around my ankles! JUST BECAUSE I CAN NOT POOP! And they ask why I don't want to have children. I can't take this for a week, how will I be able to for 9 months?!
Oh, but let me tell you-the relief you get once that healthy poop does come out. You sit on the toilet knowing, this is the moment! You feel the first movements from down under. After that first push, it all just comes sliding out. It's such a satifactory feeling that all you can do is smile. Oh what a wonderful feeling, that relief of constipation!
Well, I will leave you with that. For if you have ever been in my position, you know exactly what I am talking about.

Ciao!

Best wait ever

There are some places that you just don't mind when the host/hostess says: "I'm sorry, but there will be a two hour wait." You are like, "That's it? Really? I was ready for at least a four hour wait. I even brought snacks to share with the other patrons of the evening." If you don't know what restaurant I may be talking about, it is the widely known (in the greater Cleveland area) Melt.
www.meltbarandgrilled.com
Ok, so it can be considered a glorified grilled cheese establishment, but with a beer list that needs its own menu and at least 12 different standard 'grilled cheese' sandwiches to choose from, I don't think you will be going home with any doubt in your mind that this place is one of the best. Health conscious people beware, there isn't much on the menu that doesn't consist of a pound of grease needed to grill and fry up a two night affair with Melt. Unless you are a cow with four stomachs (and if you are, you probably would not be eating much on the menu)one sandwich with a pile of fries and a nice helping of homemade coleslaw will last you into the next day. I have tried three different sandwiches so far, and they all top the previous. Only because it happens to be what I am eating at that moment. Every month they come out with a new special, which can be voted on to keep as a standard on their menu. To say the least, every time you go in, there is something new awaiting your taste buds.
If you are a beer connoisseur, then the four page menu of beers listed categorically including Ales, Pilsners, Porters and Wheats and the more commonly known "American" beers is for you. If you are anything like me, you get intimidated over the shear magnatude of the list, flustered, you just go with something on your 'reserve' list. You know, the list you keep that has some 'different' beers on it so when you go to a restaurant with their own menu of beers, you can easily say, I will have a Nevada Pale Ale, and know how it tastes but not feel like an ass while asking for a Miller Light. "Excuse me, did you say Miller Light? Did you even read the menu I procured for you listing the 55 different beer choices we offer?" Now, I'm not going to a restaurant and paying $4 for a bottle of Miller Light when I can get something that actually has body and flavor. Though, as previously mentioned, those beers are not for the health conscious. It's ok-I'm only having one. Riiiiiight!
There are only two things I do not like about Melt-the location (as it is a good 45 minute drive from my house) and the fact that you want to die after you stuff your face with all the goodness it offers. I guess a person with more self control would not have this problem, but, alas, my self control depletes when the food is set in front of me after a beer and a half into the evening. I do not say the wait because this is actually the best time (as long as you have the time). You can people watch (and Lakewood is a great place to do that) and actually be able to have a conversation with your friends/family before you start stuffing your face full of cheesy goodness.

Well, I suppose my time is up. Try it out for yourself-I guarantee that you will have a good time!

Ciao!

And the Oscar goes to....

For as long as I remember I always wanted to be one of those 'happy' pretty people sitting on the floor (as opposed to the upper decks) of the Academy Awards. Knowing I was nominated for best Screen Writer, or Most Original Script or whatever the category. My name was called and I would jump up on the stage in my normal, I'm a bit shy, but let's have fun with it way. I would smile real dorky-like as I grabbed for the golden statue of a man-is he naked? I never really could tell. I would stand in front of the hundreds of well-knowns looking up at this not quite yet 30 year old woman in her off-the-rack just on sale after prom dress (don't get me wrong, it's still a styling piece of fabric drapped over my perfectly toned body with my long flowing hair cascading down the cut out back). I would blurt out a "Thank you to all my friends and family back home" and forget the rest of my speech I literally prepared at the age of 15 (I told you, I've been dreaming this for quite some time). But why do I dream this impossible dream? Is it because I want to be recognized for all the hard work and dedication I put into creating something so why not opt for the most televised and presumably watched award show to receive my recognition? Or is it because when I get on that stage all I really want to do is say "Suck it America!" I guess it depends on what I won for.
I could go on in my critical, cynical way and talk about how the Academy Awards is just another way American's would rather live a life in a fairy tale as opposed to looking at the real picture and see what is going on around them. It's not every day an off the cut, indy film made regarding the irony of man-kind is nominated, yet alone wins such a 'prestigious' award. But I will yield to popular demand and just say, yeah, the Academy Awards is just another reason why I hate America, but let's give up for the men and women who spend their lives making us laugh, cry and do unsensible things when you have nothing better to do on a Saturday night. Though I would rather give it up to people who really deserve it.
Well, here's to the little golden man (naked or not).

Ciao!

Friday

So, yesterday was obviously a bum day. Did anyone care? Obviously not otherwise I'm sure at least one person would have commented. What if I killed myself? Don't worry, I'm not going to do that. There is much more fun and excitement just waiting for me in life for me to end it right now. If I die, so be it, but it won't be by my hand.
Let's focus on something else. What? I really don't know. I guess I'll just ramble on for the next two minutes starting...NOW:

Do you ever wonder why the phrase is "A desert island" is used? I mean, the definition of an island is a land mass surrounded by water, so how can it be a desert? Unless they mean, technically, a human can not consume salt water without the fear of a slow, agonizing death-for real, yo. Don't drink salt water. There is a way to create drinking water out of salt water, I just haven't googled it yet. Now that I'm thinking about it, I probably will. Hmmm...more to follow on that one. So, I guess it is understandable, figuratively speaking, to use "a desert island" because you can not drink the water surrounding your new home, therefore you may run the risk of dying of thirst-just like you would in a desert. Unless you are that Bear guy-Man Vs. Wild. I'm sure he will find a way to drink a birds pee and survive off of mud.
Well, it seems that my two minutes are up. Did I leave anyone hanging?

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Ciao!

Thursday March 4th, 2010

*sigh* another day in the life of me. Could I try to make it through one day without upsetting someone over something so stupid? Problaby not. I think it is in my genes somewhere stating I have to continually fuck up everything and make my life even more miserable.
I had soup for lunch and now the roof of my mouth is seriously burnt. Yeah, there is a blister forming, not even lying. That's just great, because now all day long I am going to be touching it with my tongue. I guess to make sure it is still there. You know how you unconsciously do that kind of thing. Like, if you have a scab you just have to pick at it-though you know by picking at it will just create a scar or take the wound longer to heal.
Son-of-a-bitch. The entire world is against me today. I can't even open my email because the server is having an 'expected, temporary problem'. Well, I guess the entire world isn't against me as I do not know everyone and everything in it. But, right now the small little area of the world I am in seems to be working against me. I wouldn't be surprised if the ceiling tiles fell down around my desk. And of course I would get blamed for it. Probably something along the lines of "If you weren't so loud..."; "Maybe if you stopped joking around..."; "If you didn't jump like a little bunny rabbit from place to place instead of walking like a normal human being..." I really guess today is just a vent day. I don't normally bitch and moan to no end, therefore I am taking this opportunity to do so. Joking aside: I wish I was drunk right now.
Great, now I have to take time out of my lunch (I don't get paid for this people) to listen to the phones because the back door is locked and the receptionist is freaking out because a freight line is delivering and can't get into the building. What if I had gone home like I normally did 5 months ago before the freaking city and state decided to take my license away. Damn I wish I was drunk right now. But I guess that's what got me into this predicament to begin with. It has literally been an up hill battle for me ever since that night, 5 months ago. Everything has just shit up my entire life. And I blame it on no one but myself.
I better go before I start a never ending rant...though I think I already started, let's just stop right there.

Easter Bunny Hopping Through the Forest

Well, most of you who read this blog will already know what this post is before you go any further. But, there may be an off-chance someone new popped on by. So read on my friends! Read on!
By the way, does anyone know any Easter Bunny songs? By the end of my lunch hour I'm sure I'll find at least one.

‘Tis another season of fun-filled adventures with mythical creatures assigned to religious holidays.

The Easter season is just now upon us, what better to bring joy to the children of yours other than large quantities of chocolates in the shape of cute, cuddly bunnies and colorful eggs filled with sugar infused beans? And where, pray tell did these offerings of obesity making goodness come from? Why, where else than the giant hopping Bunny?

I ask, when did a religious holiday based on the resurrection of a dead man (who gave his life for all humanity…) involve a giant hopping Bunny with colorful eggs and chocolates shaped like his offspring? To simply answer: many, many years ago.

Let’s imagine a time before Christianity took over the lives of the thousands upon thousands of people. Imagine a time when people would get down on their knees upon witness of a solar eclipse-yet to them it was the dawning of a new age, a new god or goddess erected in the absence of the knowledge we have today; a story to tell sleepy children who would not let up on their parents with the wondering thoughts of the changing seasons.

Upon this, we will start our story within the Pagan community centuries before our time.

The beginning of Spring meant the awakening of Eastre: the goddess of fertility and new beginning. The winter season is now over and the seeds have been planted. The beginnings of life yet again burst from the once frozen ground. The timing was always perfect; just as the last snow flake falls, the sun will start to burst its radiant rays over the land. All is needed is the tender touch of the goddess to wake up the once sleeping world into a new day.

But, alas, there was one year that Eastre, frozen in her own slumber, failed to read the signs of the end of winter. Therefore, the winter season continued, yet the land, and creatures throughout, knew it to be spring. The birds tried to fly and the grass tried to grow, but Eastre, still in her slumber, had not awakened the warmth of a new spring day in order to allow creation to flow.

In a frenzy, Eastre awoke, only to find despair before her. A bird, trying to fly in the winter snow, lay with its wings frozen to the ground. Horribly heartbroken, this goddess of fertility would not allow the bird to die. Knowing that the bird would no longer live a happy life as a bird with two broken wings, she turned the bird into a winter hare, an animal as fertile as can be. Her compassion did not stop there; she gave the hare the power of speed, so he may out run any hunter and live for all eternity. In order to keep the hare close to its original roots, she gave him the ability to lay eggs, eggs as colorful as a perfect spring day (though of course the hare-and therefore previous bird-were both symbolized as being male. Male birds do not lay eggs. Was this really an ability the hare would want? Who am I to judge?). This hare could only lay these eggs upon the awakening of Eastre and the beginning of spring.

The hare, now a happy creation of spring, hopped about the land, laying his offerings for all to enjoy in the celebration of the rebirth of the lands.

But what has this to do with Easter? Upon the birth of Christianity, the Christians tried to make their religion look attractive to the Pagan’s by turning Pagan festivals into Christian holidays. The Pagan Eastre festival occurred around the same time the Christians marked the resurrection of the Christ Lord. Thus, melding the two celebrations in one-the Bunny and all. Of course, over time the Christians took over the celebration of the season, turning Eastre into Easter and the symbolism of the bunny (hare) into innocence and sacrificial offerings. Again, symbolizing the innocence of Christ and the ultimate sacrifice: his life for humanity.

The Easter Bunny we know today actually stemmed from the Germans (ah, the Germans, good at everything but coming up with a fool proof plan to take over the world). It was their tradition, in the early 1600’s, that on Easter morning, children would wake to find that the Easter Bunny left little pellets of goodies for them to either find throughout the house or in the special made Easter ‘nests’ they worked so hard on prior to the night before Easter. As immigrants traveled to the New World, their traditions often followed (well, technically speaking traditions can’t follow anything, but the immigrants would continue with their traditions even after leaving their home countries).

In the 1700’s the Pennsylvania-Dutch (German immigrants) would celebrate their traditional Easter; Bunny droppings and all. This eventually caught on and other American settlers jumped in on the bunny craze.

As with all historical traditions, the actual history is lost-but there will always be someone willing to find the meaning behind the, what seems to be, off-the-wall celebrations of well-meaning holidays.

So, friends, I leave you with yet another holiday mythological creature busted. There is no six-foot bunny in pastel clothing hopping through the forest depositing colorful eggs filled with chocolates in the homes of young children. Again, it is just a Pagan belief created into a Christian tradition in order to keep the masses at peace-for a time being anyway.


Enjoy the Easter season and try not to give into the commercialization of the religious belief-whether it is the Christian or the long forgotten Pagan belief.




Happy Easter!

Somebody's got the Monday Blues!

I think the saying is overrated. If I was in an OK mood but a little bummed coming back to work after an exciting weekend and someone came up to me and stated "Looks like some body's got the Monday Blues!" Would it be easier just to punch them in the face and be like-"What are you going to do about that punk? Huh? Don't have anything to say? What? What? What are you going to say now? Huh?" Ok, that would take it to the extreme (not to mention the fact that your boss will really think you are taking drugs no matter what you say and the cops will probably haul you off the premises-don't forget your lucky animals!!) But what do you say? Give a slight smile, turn and go back to your desk? Sigh a little-well, it is only 8am...shrug your shoulders and walk away? Personally, I take the middle ground-not so much freak out, but nonchalantly state how just because it is Monday morning and you had to be at work at 8am and woke up at 7:25, your hair is a bit disheveled and you can't remember if you brushed your teeth, you really aren't 'blue' just not quite right. Hey, it's Monday.

OK-tell me what you think: You walk into a dark movie theater knowing the movie has already started. You find it quite difficult to find an open seat, but try to make as little noise as possible. Crouched as low as possible as to not block the view of the 12 foot screen behind you, you frantically look for a seat. You find one at the top of the theater and throw yourself into it before you piss off anyone. You even decide to keep your coat on due to the fact you don't want to make any unnecessary noise while the beginning credits are rolling. To your dismay, you realize that there already is a disarmed coat laying on the back of your chair. Slightly confused, you grope for your own-yes, your coat is still embodied-who, pray tell, does this coat belong to? Then you hear a slight cough come from behind. There is a middle-aged man sitting directly behind you, and now upon closer inspection (and from the unbearable after shave smell coming from the collar of the coat)you realize this 'gentleman' has hung his coat on the chair in front of him. Ok, that's nice. But now I am occupying said chair. Would it not be the 'gentleman' thing to do to take the coat off the chair and hang it somewhere else-anywhere else? No. This is no gentleman, just a man who obviously has no upbringing into society. He is probably the little talked about brother who goes over your house uninvited, walking around your carpeted floor with wet shoes and puts his feet up on your brand new coffee table. I'm sure he also double-dips and takes a swig from your can of Coke.
Is it rude for me to continue to sit in the chair occupied by the coat of the man who finds it necessary to wear pungent smelling after shave? Or is it rude for the man to wear the aftershave in public? I mean, to leave his coat on the chair, knowing someone is now using it? It's not his chair. Did he pay for two tickets so he may use two chairs? Granted, I did not pay for one ticket, but still, I am an animate life form-the coat can not get up and walk away on its own (if that was the case I would not have taken the chair to begin with-I probably would have ran from the theater). I looked to my right and noticed an empty seat between the person I went to see the movie with and another movie patron. I was tempted to move seats, but then thought, No, I will not let this smelly bastard win this round. I will not move my seat, but enjoy this over-priced Hollywood creation. I tried to not let the coat bother me, which in the end it didn't. It was the man behind me that bothered me. The thought crossed my mind, more than once, to take the gum I was chewing out of my mouth and stick it in the arm of the coat so the man would ruin his $12.99 WalMart shirt. Then I thought-it wouldn't be the man that would be as upset as the wife sitting next to him that would have to try to remove the gum from the shirt. With the economy now, I can not let my anger win over, as others do not need to be affected by such trivial nuisances. So I took a deep breath and said to myself, at least I know I would not do that to someone.
The winner in the end-Me. I over came my anger by not doing anything and realized that I would not allow someone to be unhappy with me by doing the same thing. Therefore, let's all just be a little more conscientious of the people around us. You never know who they may be or what they may do.

That's all for today...

Ciao!