Done and done

That is right, single and sexy forever. I will write a short story but at a later time.
I don't need a man and it's true-whenever I was 'with' a man it made me less of the woman I know I am. I do like the feeling of being wanted, but sometimes the pressure and confusion that goes along with it is too overwhelming for my small mindedness to handle.
I haven't lost the full 7lbs but I am working on it. I lost 4lbs in 27 days and am gaining great muscle mass. I have realized that if I'm not going to be able to find a job right now, I'm going to do something to better my life. If that means looking as sexy as possible, then by golly I will do it. This does come with its reprocussions-one major-the guy following. If I wasn't so nice I wouldn't have a problem, but coming from a background of low self-esteem is a major pressure point when all of a sudden you have more attention than you can handle.
Yes, I still lapse into "I remember when..."; "I just want to be held..."; "Sometimes you just want to kiss someone special..." but then I have to smack myself and say: "listen, you are a strong, independent woman and no one can keep up with you just leave it as is and live your life and enjoy it to its fullest." Yes, I will. There will be many a man who will try to keep up and I may allow them for awhile; but in the long run I will never settle and I will never lose and I will never be lonely because of it.

So stop your bitching and enjoy your life. No more crazy thoughts, just enjoy what you do have and make room for what's to come.