Remember that movie “Hello Again” with that lady from Cheers? I have that on tape somewhere-taped off the television when cable was just cable and every so often the movie channels (that were actually movie channels) would let us watch for free for a week or so. What ever happened to those days? Now movie channels have ‘risk-a’ television shows that can’t be seen on regular television. They aren’t even movie channels anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong, without channels like Showtime and HBO I wouldn’t have gotten my True Blood or The Tudors or Six Feet Under for that matter. Which reminds me, I need to go shopping for that.
I guess it really doesn’t matter anymore. Trivial misconceptions in life I suppose. I should have better things to worry about-like what I really want to do with my life and why am I so sad? I guess we really do try to pick apart all those little things that really mean nothing to you as a whole just to avoid the bigger problems and situations. Not necessarily problems I guess, but mostly situations and predicaments. Like, it was probably a good thing we didn’t have movie channels all the time when we were younger, otherwise I might have been an even fatter child. Actually, I didn’t start getting fat until around high school-I think there is a correlation in that. High School=Depression=over eating=obese teenager. Simple mathematical equation.
So now…working out=energy boost=sustained well being=lose weight. What a nice balance.-until you throw in work, constant over eating and drinking, mood swings and life in general I suppose.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
'Tis the last day...7 of 7
If you had a choice to save someones life but it could mean that you will die, would you do it?
Depending on the circumstances, obviously. Say it was a loved one-someone you didn't think you could live without. Would it be selfish of you to say-here, take my kidney...and then you end up dieing of an infection? Or even more selfish to say, no, I'd rather not risk my life, I think I can deal without you. What if that person had only a 50% chance of living with the kidney you were to give them and you had a 50% chance of dieing on the operating table due to complications? What if you both died? Both lived? One died while the other lived?
What ever happened to survival of the fittest? If you have a broken kidney, then maybe it's best you take your broken body and let it rest in peace. But with technology we have now, how can one possibly say that without sounding like a heartless bitch? If it was me, what would I do?
Life is something everyone takes for granted. We work in order to live and we crap all over the earth as if it was put here for humans and humans alone. It was here a long time before we came here, and it will be here a long time after-unless of course the dieing sun decides to implode in a super nova and incinerates us all. That would be a way to go, huh?
There are a couple things I would really like to do in life while I'm still young. Go on a cruise by myself.
Go to Europe.
Take a random road trip across the US.
Move to the country.
Ah, so romantic, everything I am not. So why do I want to do it? I don't know, it really sounds like a lot of fun.
Depending on the circumstances, obviously. Say it was a loved one-someone you didn't think you could live without. Would it be selfish of you to say-here, take my kidney...and then you end up dieing of an infection? Or even more selfish to say, no, I'd rather not risk my life, I think I can deal without you. What if that person had only a 50% chance of living with the kidney you were to give them and you had a 50% chance of dieing on the operating table due to complications? What if you both died? Both lived? One died while the other lived?
What ever happened to survival of the fittest? If you have a broken kidney, then maybe it's best you take your broken body and let it rest in peace. But with technology we have now, how can one possibly say that without sounding like a heartless bitch? If it was me, what would I do?
Life is something everyone takes for granted. We work in order to live and we crap all over the earth as if it was put here for humans and humans alone. It was here a long time before we came here, and it will be here a long time after-unless of course the dieing sun decides to implode in a super nova and incinerates us all. That would be a way to go, huh?
There are a couple things I would really like to do in life while I'm still young. Go on a cruise by myself.
Go to Europe.
Take a random road trip across the US.
Move to the country.
Ah, so romantic, everything I am not. So why do I want to do it? I don't know, it really sounds like a lot of fun.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Stof om over n ate denken
Ik heb soms wakker van de ochtend willen tot alleen gekroesdheid up in mijn Bladen en nooit te kampen de wereld opnieuw. Dit zijn de dagen roep ik e “werk dagen e”. Ik vrezen ieder moment gaan doorwerken tot vrijdagmiddag toen ik weet dat niemand anders zal werken tijdens het weekeinde. Zou ik liever niet werken voor een levens-en niets doen met mijn leven? De gedachte heft gekruist mijnerzijds. Maar ik e zeker het zou toch wel heel saai. Misschien ben e zullen alleen lopen door het leven niet verzorgende om niets-niets doen.
6 of 7
Technically this would be my last day, if I hadn't messed up on Saturday. But does it even matter? I mean, humans have come so attached to technology that we don't even really see the real world anymore. Just the symbols that we see on the internet, television and in movies. The words we hear are no longer from loved ones, but from the 100 top pop hits, radio DJ's and the computerized female voice associated with most automatic systems if we decide to pick up a phone to call someone rather than text someone or email.
What happened to when you can throw down a $20 bill and pay for a round of drinks and not worry if you left enough money for a tip? Now we have the open tabs that are closed out with a credit card-quickly calculating who had what...and don't forget tax and tip. Most people don't even carry cash anymore, leaving the bartender or server with the job of either splitting the check for you, or kindly stating they do not have the capability to split the tab. Which is utter bull shit because with all the technology now a days, they are just being lazy bastards. But it's not their fault you and your drunk friends decided to sit at the bar to have a good time and not mention the fact that no one has cash-because who carries cash anymore, anyway? So at the end of the night when everyone is even more drunk, it's left with either one person fitting the bill, or leaving one of the group behind as collateral to find an ATM that actually still contains cash in the machine; God forbid you have to pay the $2.50 surcharge if the ATM happens to not be your bank.
I am not old, but it wasn't that long ago when people went out, they made sure they had enough cash on them to support their bad habits for the evening. In crowded bars and in restaurants where the server is under paid, you can't afford to not carry a few bills over the currency of $5 to make sure you don't snub one of your friends. With brains swimming in beer and fruity shots, no one is going to remember what they owed the next morning, let alone the next time you go out. And really, who is keeping tabs. Because if you really cared that much, you wouldn't have fit the bill to begin with.
Friends aren't people that you will sit there with a sour look on your face and say, "Well, that's your problem then, isn't it?" They aren't going to bring up "Well, last time I paid for the entire night out." They will smile and look away, hoping you don't see the disappointment in their eyes, yet will know that there will not be a next time, because you will ask for separate checks, even if it means leaving a bigger tip for inconveniencing the server.
What happened to when you can throw down a $20 bill and pay for a round of drinks and not worry if you left enough money for a tip? Now we have the open tabs that are closed out with a credit card-quickly calculating who had what...and don't forget tax and tip. Most people don't even carry cash anymore, leaving the bartender or server with the job of either splitting the check for you, or kindly stating they do not have the capability to split the tab. Which is utter bull shit because with all the technology now a days, they are just being lazy bastards. But it's not their fault you and your drunk friends decided to sit at the bar to have a good time and not mention the fact that no one has cash-because who carries cash anymore, anyway? So at the end of the night when everyone is even more drunk, it's left with either one person fitting the bill, or leaving one of the group behind as collateral to find an ATM that actually still contains cash in the machine; God forbid you have to pay the $2.50 surcharge if the ATM happens to not be your bank.
I am not old, but it wasn't that long ago when people went out, they made sure they had enough cash on them to support their bad habits for the evening. In crowded bars and in restaurants where the server is under paid, you can't afford to not carry a few bills over the currency of $5 to make sure you don't snub one of your friends. With brains swimming in beer and fruity shots, no one is going to remember what they owed the next morning, let alone the next time you go out. And really, who is keeping tabs. Because if you really cared that much, you wouldn't have fit the bill to begin with.
Friends aren't people that you will sit there with a sour look on your face and say, "Well, that's your problem then, isn't it?" They aren't going to bring up "Well, last time I paid for the entire night out." They will smile and look away, hoping you don't see the disappointment in their eyes, yet will know that there will not be a next time, because you will ask for separate checks, even if it means leaving a bigger tip for inconveniencing the server.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Today is about elephants
I like elephants. They are big and fat. But they run quite quickly for all their bulk. Did you know that they have sonar capabilities that can be heard by other elephants for miles? Interesting.
5 of 7
Skipped one...but let's keep going anyway.
Jamais ete aussi ennuye que vous serait effectivement rechercher comment traduire quelque chose dans une autre langue et ensuite seulement poster absurde de votre blog? J’ai donc echoue dans ma tentative d’ecrire un blog chaque jour pendant sept jours. Oue aurait pense. Et la journee que j’ai vraiment eu le temps d’envisager quelque chose par ecrit a ete le seul jour que je n’a pas blog. Telle est ma vie.
Ciao!
Jamais ete aussi ennuye que vous serait effectivement rechercher comment traduire quelque chose dans une autre langue et ensuite seulement poster absurde de votre blog? J’ai donc echoue dans ma tentative d’ecrire un blog chaque jour pendant sept jours. Oue aurait pense. Et la journee que j’ai vraiment eu le temps d’envisager quelque chose par ecrit a ete le seul jour que je n’a pas blog. Telle est ma vie.
Ciao!
Friday, February 19, 2010
4 of 7
Due to the fact I plan on getting hammered tonight, I will quickly write a note just for the sake that I said I would.
First of all, I'm starting a new research project. I have a tendency to start one up every so often when my life gets into a lull and I have nothing else to keep my mind occupied-so I make something up. Technically I don't make anything up, just the need to research a particular topic. No matter what the topic, it turns out to be a good time in the end. You learn something new, and undoubtably interesting, and you are able to share that with others. I will keep updates on my research, though it doesn't take long once I know what it is I am trying to get at.
I am a heathen today, well, just another day I suppose. It is the first Friday of Lent and I ate meat, intentionally. I mean, not to the extent where I crammed it into my open mouth screaming-"Look at me eating this juicy piece of deer steak cooked to perfection while you eat your wilty lettuce and too-ripe tomatoes!" It was more of a subtle, I'm eating this good piece of meat I made last night and I don't care. Well, obviously I do considering I am writing about it. If there truly was a Heaven and Hell, I think I already know where I am going, so why would eating meat on a Friday during Lent change that? You also have to consider that throughout the years, the act of Lent has changed so much I don't feel the necessity to continue to try to even still follow it. Yes, I am a fallen Catholic if you have not noticed. But where exactly did I fall? I suppose this contemplation should be saved for another time and not when I am on a lunch break-too much to say in too little time.
With that said, I think I'm going '80's rock.
Then again, just the style in itself was something to wonder over.
Maybe that's why when the '90's came a new style came through? Actually I think the '90's was just a melding of the '60-80's. Just my thought.
Ciao!
First of all, I'm starting a new research project. I have a tendency to start one up every so often when my life gets into a lull and I have nothing else to keep my mind occupied-so I make something up. Technically I don't make anything up, just the need to research a particular topic. No matter what the topic, it turns out to be a good time in the end. You learn something new, and undoubtably interesting, and you are able to share that with others. I will keep updates on my research, though it doesn't take long once I know what it is I am trying to get at.
I am a heathen today, well, just another day I suppose. It is the first Friday of Lent and I ate meat, intentionally. I mean, not to the extent where I crammed it into my open mouth screaming-"Look at me eating this juicy piece of deer steak cooked to perfection while you eat your wilty lettuce and too-ripe tomatoes!" It was more of a subtle, I'm eating this good piece of meat I made last night and I don't care. Well, obviously I do considering I am writing about it. If there truly was a Heaven and Hell, I think I already know where I am going, so why would eating meat on a Friday during Lent change that? You also have to consider that throughout the years, the act of Lent has changed so much I don't feel the necessity to continue to try to even still follow it. Yes, I am a fallen Catholic if you have not noticed. But where exactly did I fall? I suppose this contemplation should be saved for another time and not when I am on a lunch break-too much to say in too little time.
With that said, I think I'm going '80's rock.
Then again, just the style in itself was something to wonder over.
Maybe that's why when the '90's came a new style came through? Actually I think the '90's was just a melding of the '60-80's. Just my thought.
Ciao!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
3 of 7
I knew that doing this would force me to either come up with witty commentary on life, or do something other than stare blankly into the surrounding masses. Alas, the wittiness has dissipated and all that is left is non-sensical ramblings of late. The other night I was watching the men's figure skating short program. Though I am not racist or biased towards any gender in the least, I could not help but find myself laughing at the flamboyancy of some of the skaters. Is it because we view our lives in certain ways and when someone comes out of that box that humans have tried to keep shut on 'normalcy' we find it humerous or even insulting? I find it insulting to my own genious(or lack there of) that I actually laughed so hard I know tears were plucking at my eyes. Maybe it's because there is so much in life that you take for granted that the things that you know you should not ridicule become easier to make fun of flippantly rather than taking hold of what is really going on in your own life.
Probably not, I'm just an ass. "I'm Swedish! Look at my flag! Hi guys! Look at my flag!"
I came up with a new running plan until March (I know, not that long from now). Run 3 miles at my fastest, break for 5 minutes, then finish up my 5 mile run as fast as I can go. I tried it for the first time last night and it was awesome (5 miles at 50 minutes with a break between mile 3 and 4). I think I broke off for more than 5 minutes though as I was talking to a friend at the gym. As always, the first 2 miles were good flowing, once I hit about 2.25 in, it became burdensome. The sweat was poring down my face, dripping into my eyes, around my nose and onto my lips. I wasn't huffing and puffing, though-that was a good sign. It was still my legs that were burning-just keep running! I sometimes feel defeated as I was able to run a good 5 miles just a mere two weeks ago. But I picked the pace way up, and it has made the mileage a little harder to reach. Breaking into two sets seems to be working, though, unfortunately it drained my body and I was in bed by 9:30. The power went out at 10:30-how did I know considering I was dead to the world? Interesting, really. The tiny electic currents that are constantly around you as you work, sleep, exercise, every thing you do (unless you are Amish) actually do make a difference. Once all those currents drop away, your body actually notices (maybe not so much your mind) but your body reacts in such a way that it awakens your mind and you are left with the weird sensation-did I wake up because the power went out, or did I wake up because some unheard noise happened to jolt me from my sleep at the exact same time? I think it was the loss of the electric currents pulsing through your body. And they wonder why so many people are diagnosed with some sort of cancer.
It would seem that lunch is now over...back to the grind of...doing absolutely nothing I suppose. *sigh* such is life. At least I take home a pay check (though I shouldn't say that too loudly for fear that a job hunt might be in my future).
Ciao!
Probably not, I'm just an ass. "I'm Swedish! Look at my flag! Hi guys! Look at my flag!"
I came up with a new running plan until March (I know, not that long from now). Run 3 miles at my fastest, break for 5 minutes, then finish up my 5 mile run as fast as I can go. I tried it for the first time last night and it was awesome (5 miles at 50 minutes with a break between mile 3 and 4). I think I broke off for more than 5 minutes though as I was talking to a friend at the gym. As always, the first 2 miles were good flowing, once I hit about 2.25 in, it became burdensome. The sweat was poring down my face, dripping into my eyes, around my nose and onto my lips. I wasn't huffing and puffing, though-that was a good sign. It was still my legs that were burning-just keep running! I sometimes feel defeated as I was able to run a good 5 miles just a mere two weeks ago. But I picked the pace way up, and it has made the mileage a little harder to reach. Breaking into two sets seems to be working, though, unfortunately it drained my body and I was in bed by 9:30. The power went out at 10:30-how did I know considering I was dead to the world? Interesting, really. The tiny electic currents that are constantly around you as you work, sleep, exercise, every thing you do (unless you are Amish) actually do make a difference. Once all those currents drop away, your body actually notices (maybe not so much your mind) but your body reacts in such a way that it awakens your mind and you are left with the weird sensation-did I wake up because the power went out, or did I wake up because some unheard noise happened to jolt me from my sleep at the exact same time? I think it was the loss of the electric currents pulsing through your body. And they wonder why so many people are diagnosed with some sort of cancer.
It would seem that lunch is now over...back to the grind of...doing absolutely nothing I suppose. *sigh* such is life. At least I take home a pay check (though I shouldn't say that too loudly for fear that a job hunt might be in my future).
Ciao!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Day 2 of 7
I forgot to take my stuff back to the library today. I thought I would have a racked up fine of at least $5, since they decided to jack up the late fees due to the falling economy (but if the economy is falling, do you really think that people are going to pay the library late fees owed??). But, due to the ever expanding technolgy, I was able to renew my stuff online and I now have another three weeks to return them. Of course I will return them tomorrow so more people can check out the oh so wonderful array of movies and books I have in my possession at this very moment. For if I keep them for the three weeks, I will most likely forget to return them again, thus starting the vicious cycle of late fees, renewing and librarian madness for a mere $5 owed on a library card that the holder has had for over 20 years (needless to say it has taken 20 years to rack up that $5 fine, thank you very much-and they don't ask for the money until you owe $10...will I then be forced to open a card at an opposing counties library if this happens? Do I know someone living an another county to which I may use their address for the library card? Will it really get that bad that this may occur? It's just a library card for goodness sake!)
I smell peanut butter...which reminds me, I gained 4 pounds since two weeks ago. I blame it on the artificially flavored, globs of sugar shaped like cuddly teddy bears. They are no longer cuddly, are they? Not when they spew from my stomach creating a pouch a mother kangaroo would be proud of. But I'm not a kangaroo, so I am not proud of my pouch, especially when the addicting little colored, chewy, mockingly cute bears from satan are to blame. Or was it the fact I slacked on my work outs for the past two weeks?
The keys on the keyboard are sticky...I shall now end my writing as I question why the keyboard is so sticky...could it be from the peanut butter I smell or the late night internet prawling a certain member of my family partakes in???!!!
Ciao!
I smell peanut butter...which reminds me, I gained 4 pounds since two weeks ago. I blame it on the artificially flavored, globs of sugar shaped like cuddly teddy bears. They are no longer cuddly, are they? Not when they spew from my stomach creating a pouch a mother kangaroo would be proud of. But I'm not a kangaroo, so I am not proud of my pouch, especially when the addicting little colored, chewy, mockingly cute bears from satan are to blame. Or was it the fact I slacked on my work outs for the past two weeks?
The keys on the keyboard are sticky...I shall now end my writing as I question why the keyboard is so sticky...could it be from the peanut butter I smell or the late night internet prawling a certain member of my family partakes in???!!!
Ciao!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Day one of 7 day blogging period
I have decided I am going to blog for seven days straight for no reason at all.
Day one-it is a snowy Tuesday and I sit at my desk. Just finished my lunch of chicken noodle soup. No, it was not Campbells, some off-brand I found at Big Lots for only $0.55. FIFTY FIVE CENTS for lunch?! Yes, I spent $0.55 on my lunch this afternoon and my tummy surely feels it. Or should I say, not feel it? Soup is good on a cold, snowy day, when you are sitting at home watching old movies and popcorn, chips, gummy bears and ice cream are at your disposal. But when you sit at work for 9 hours straight and all you eat is a bowl of soup and a bowl of oatmeal until you work out for an hour just to go home to open the refidgerator door to find nothing but the mocking scent of moldy cheese and left overs you didn't want to eat the first time around anyway, you slump a little deeper and slowly trudge off to bed only to have the same vicious cycle of minimal food consumption start all over again.
Well, I suppose I am exaggerating a bit. The past week I have eaten so much my black work pants are a bit snug. But I think I bought them that way. It's been so long now I can't remember. I am addicted to gummy bears and oriental snack mix. But, not just any gummy bears and oriental snack mix. They have to be from Ashery's in Amish Country. http://www.visitamishcountry.com/shopping.php
I don't know what it is about those Amish, taking simple ingredients and making them into yummy goodness that you become addicted too. Of course I have to eat them in moderation, only for the fact that I can only receive my package once a week, and sometimes it lengthens to once every other week-or even once a month. Not knowing when I will get my next fix, I horde my packages, hissing at anyone who may come too close. I leave half eaten packages on the table late at night, tempting someone to touch them in hopes that they fall into my trap and will have to purchase new packages for me to indulge in. I think it might be my lack of sugar intake on a regular basis coupled with the fact I divulge into a 3 pound bag of gummy bears just to follow it up with a pound of oriental mix in one sitting. It's no wonder I act like a jealous goose, protecting her egg from possible arsenal. Hmmm...I truly wish I brought my gummy bears with me today.
Day one-it is a snowy Tuesday and I sit at my desk. Just finished my lunch of chicken noodle soup. No, it was not Campbells, some off-brand I found at Big Lots for only $0.55. FIFTY FIVE CENTS for lunch?! Yes, I spent $0.55 on my lunch this afternoon and my tummy surely feels it. Or should I say, not feel it? Soup is good on a cold, snowy day, when you are sitting at home watching old movies and popcorn, chips, gummy bears and ice cream are at your disposal. But when you sit at work for 9 hours straight and all you eat is a bowl of soup and a bowl of oatmeal until you work out for an hour just to go home to open the refidgerator door to find nothing but the mocking scent of moldy cheese and left overs you didn't want to eat the first time around anyway, you slump a little deeper and slowly trudge off to bed only to have the same vicious cycle of minimal food consumption start all over again.
Well, I suppose I am exaggerating a bit. The past week I have eaten so much my black work pants are a bit snug. But I think I bought them that way. It's been so long now I can't remember. I am addicted to gummy bears and oriental snack mix. But, not just any gummy bears and oriental snack mix. They have to be from Ashery's in Amish Country. http://www.visitamishcountry.com/shopping.php
I don't know what it is about those Amish, taking simple ingredients and making them into yummy goodness that you become addicted too. Of course I have to eat them in moderation, only for the fact that I can only receive my package once a week, and sometimes it lengthens to once every other week-or even once a month. Not knowing when I will get my next fix, I horde my packages, hissing at anyone who may come too close. I leave half eaten packages on the table late at night, tempting someone to touch them in hopes that they fall into my trap and will have to purchase new packages for me to indulge in. I think it might be my lack of sugar intake on a regular basis coupled with the fact I divulge into a 3 pound bag of gummy bears just to follow it up with a pound of oriental mix in one sitting. It's no wonder I act like a jealous goose, protecting her egg from possible arsenal. Hmmm...I truly wish I brought my gummy bears with me today.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sunday morning...anti-Valentine's Day
Well, breakfast turned out very good, if I don't say so myself. Pancakes were delicious. I find it difficult, though, to type properly as my fingers are numb from the (how many?) mimosa's I have drank. My brain feels as if it is swimming in Champagne and my legs feel like rubber. Pictures of gumby are running through my head. I just lost my train of thought.
Moulin Rouge drink fest here I come...and then maybe some Mexican battery acid to wash it all down.
Ciao!
Moulin Rouge drink fest here I come...and then maybe some Mexican battery acid to wash it all down.
Ciao!
Saturday
I woke up this morning with the embarrassment still fresh in my mind. Yes, I did sing Whitney Houston AND Muse at karaoke last night. Why, oh why do I do this to myself? You know what? I had the balls to sing Whitney Houston and Muse last night. Who else can say that, other than anyone else who stood up infront of the white trash, hick bar in a bowling alley on a Friday night to sing karaoke and pay a $26 tab after she bought a round of shots, 4 beers and 2 vodka and cranberries? Not many, that's for sure. And I don't care if I made anyone's ears bleed (which I'm sure I did, or at least broke a glass or two). I had a good time and I was able to wake up at 7:30 this morning to go see my friend meet his PR during the Cleveland 5K at Tower City in the 19 degree weather after it snowed the night before.
The energy that was surging during that 21 minutes and 26 seconds, and then the aftermath, was pushing against the walls and only creating great anticipation inside my body as I thought about the half marathon I will be running in May. Training doesn't officially start for another month, but I can just taste the adrenaline rush I will get both at the starting line and after I cross the finish line (hopefully 2 hours and 19 minutes later). The next two to three weeks I will slowly progress with my speed. After that, it's nothing but mileage. I've been planning my schedule for the past month, the only thing holding me back for the next month and a half is the fact I need to rely on someone to drive me to and from the gym until one-it gets warm enough for me to run outside and/or two-I can start driving myself again. My leg muscles burn when I don't do a run, and let me tell you, they have been burning for the past 3 days. I love the feel of the pavement under my feet, but more importantly, I love the feeling I get after I complete a good run.
But, tomorrow brings another down day for me. It is technically Valentine's Day, and though I can write a whole book on why I am against the 'holiday', I will refrain and just state that the day will be taken up with drinking and anti-Valentine day rituals (though I do not know what this will entail just yet.)
With that in mind, I will look up some recipe's for mouth watering pancakes (because you know who good my culinary skills are) and wake up early tomorrow for some breakfast and mimosa's (mostly the mimosa's).
Ciao!
The energy that was surging during that 21 minutes and 26 seconds, and then the aftermath, was pushing against the walls and only creating great anticipation inside my body as I thought about the half marathon I will be running in May. Training doesn't officially start for another month, but I can just taste the adrenaline rush I will get both at the starting line and after I cross the finish line (hopefully 2 hours and 19 minutes later). The next two to three weeks I will slowly progress with my speed. After that, it's nothing but mileage. I've been planning my schedule for the past month, the only thing holding me back for the next month and a half is the fact I need to rely on someone to drive me to and from the gym until one-it gets warm enough for me to run outside and/or two-I can start driving myself again. My leg muscles burn when I don't do a run, and let me tell you, they have been burning for the past 3 days. I love the feel of the pavement under my feet, but more importantly, I love the feeling I get after I complete a good run.
But, tomorrow brings another down day for me. It is technically Valentine's Day, and though I can write a whole book on why I am against the 'holiday', I will refrain and just state that the day will be taken up with drinking and anti-Valentine day rituals (though I do not know what this will entail just yet.)
With that in mind, I will look up some recipe's for mouth watering pancakes (because you know who good my culinary skills are) and wake up early tomorrow for some breakfast and mimosa's (mostly the mimosa's).
Ciao!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Evening remembrance...
I have been trying to live my life in such a way that shows I do not need a man in order to be happy. I hold strong to this belief. It is nice to be admired by the opposite sex, don't get me wrong, but I just don't feel the necessity to go out of my way in order to spend my life with one other human. The whole 'courting' thing that, if doesn't end in heart break and turmoil, only leads up to the overly priced wedding, which will (of course as long as you can stomach that person forever) lead to either your eventual death knowing you will leave behind your loved one, or their eventual death leaving you behind, an old hag no longer suitable for the dating scene.
Of course what does not help in the matter is the fact that I am human and I do have emotions (though quite lacking) that bubble from their depths in the pit of my being on occassion, usually while drunk. And the lingering stare that could have meant nothing but a quizzical look at a girl with dishoveled hair caused by the relentless dancing to karaoke infront of a crowd trying to watch a Basketball game (13 in a row-go Cavs!!), at that time felt like it was more of a flirtatious glimpse from someone too shy to make the connection in actual conversation. But at least he knows my name!
I put myself through these scenario's over and over again, hoping that one day I will realize what it is I want in my life and if I want to be "alone" or if I would rather spend it in a loving embrace until my end of days. I just winced as I wrote that last comment, so maybe the former of the two will be more up my alley.
Until I can put asides what fears or reservations I may have about the above, right now I will spend my days a single woman...and happy.
Ciao!
Of course what does not help in the matter is the fact that I am human and I do have emotions (though quite lacking) that bubble from their depths in the pit of my being on occassion, usually while drunk. And the lingering stare that could have meant nothing but a quizzical look at a girl with dishoveled hair caused by the relentless dancing to karaoke infront of a crowd trying to watch a Basketball game (13 in a row-go Cavs!!), at that time felt like it was more of a flirtatious glimpse from someone too shy to make the connection in actual conversation. But at least he knows my name!
I put myself through these scenario's over and over again, hoping that one day I will realize what it is I want in my life and if I want to be "alone" or if I would rather spend it in a loving embrace until my end of days. I just winced as I wrote that last comment, so maybe the former of the two will be more up my alley.
Until I can put asides what fears or reservations I may have about the above, right now I will spend my days a single woman...and happy.
Ciao!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Lunch time contemplation...
I had started watching the Biggest Loser this season, mainly for the reason that my friend enjoys the show and I happen to go over every Tuesday night that she is watching it. I actually do not like reality TV-actually I despise the entire concept behind it. First of all, there is no such thing as the genre so depicted as "reality TV"; there is nothing real about it (well, besides the people I suppose). It is mainly scripted and the people that are on the shows were picked to create the most action and drama that can be shown. You don't see a bunch of fuddy-duddy's sitting infront of the TV going, I wish I had me a million dollars so I can buy me a airplane. I mean, that would be reality TV, but that would be quite boring. Years ago the public access station (PBS I believe) actually aired a show about 4 families that had to live as if they lived in the 19th century. No running water, electricity, cars or anything. The producers actually created the show to where the family's had to buy their groceries from specific places as if they would during that time period. If they didn't use their money correctly, they wouldn't be able to buy what they needed for that week. This included any toiletries and the such. Ok,the show was completely boring and only lasted the one season, but that was reality.
Not only that, but why have all these shows? Do humans really lack the creativity to allow themselves to be themselves without watching these television shows. Sitting infront of the TV set watching The Biggest Loser while getting fat themselves. If I had a trainer like Jillian yelling at me every five minutes I would be toner than all get out, but I don't, nor do I really want one. yeah, I'm not in the best shape that I can be in, but I'm not unhealthy and I would rather be able to 'live' my life and not regret not having a piece of chocolate birthday cake for my mother's 60th birthday. I mean, I exercise. For the past two months I have been running 5 miles 3-4 times a week and weight training for 2 days a week. Just yesterday I decided I want to be in that category that can say "I run a 10 minute mile" Just last week my pace was approximately 10.3-11 minutes a mile, which isn't that bad, but I wanted to get there, you know? So, yesterday I said, no matter what, I am running 3 miles at a 10minute a mile pace (6mph). And I did it. It was hard, but I did it. Mile 1 was no problem, I had my head phones in and was listening to Fall Out Boy (I wanted to change it up a bit from my usual Muse-they are a bit slow sometimes) feeling fine. I got to mile 2, my eyes lingering on the seconds/minutes watching the time go slowly up up up oh so slowly up. Trying to tear my eyes away, I started staring at the weight equipment that was directly infront of me. Now focused on something other than my burning thighs and the relentless need to gasp for air, everything seemed to fall back into its proper place. Then 2.5 miles hit-25 minutes in. Technically speaking that is only 5 more minutes until I hit the 3 mile mark. By that time I was feeling pretty defeated and I wanted to stop. But you know what kept me going? The chanting in my head-If those fat asses on the biggest loser can run for 5 minutes on the tread mill, by golly, so can I! So I plodded through those 5 minutes, huffing a bit, yes, but I did it! And I felt victorious! But what about those extra 2 miles to hit my daily 5 mile mark? I was able to do 1.25 more miles at my standard pace of about. Then I just pooped out. But, I did it, and I guess I can say I owe it to the reality TV show The Biggest Loser (though of course I would have just found something else to keep my mind occupied and continue to run if there was no such thing as television-but then I wonder, would I have been running, exercising, eating healthier, even caring about my own self-image if it wasn't for television? I can't answer that, obviously, but I think it would be amazinig to find an alternate universe in which I could find the answer for that.)
Such ends my lunch hour.
Ciao!
Not only that, but why have all these shows? Do humans really lack the creativity to allow themselves to be themselves without watching these television shows. Sitting infront of the TV set watching The Biggest Loser while getting fat themselves. If I had a trainer like Jillian yelling at me every five minutes I would be toner than all get out, but I don't, nor do I really want one. yeah, I'm not in the best shape that I can be in, but I'm not unhealthy and I would rather be able to 'live' my life and not regret not having a piece of chocolate birthday cake for my mother's 60th birthday. I mean, I exercise. For the past two months I have been running 5 miles 3-4 times a week and weight training for 2 days a week. Just yesterday I decided I want to be in that category that can say "I run a 10 minute mile" Just last week my pace was approximately 10.3-11 minutes a mile, which isn't that bad, but I wanted to get there, you know? So, yesterday I said, no matter what, I am running 3 miles at a 10minute a mile pace (6mph). And I did it. It was hard, but I did it. Mile 1 was no problem, I had my head phones in and was listening to Fall Out Boy (I wanted to change it up a bit from my usual Muse-they are a bit slow sometimes) feeling fine. I got to mile 2, my eyes lingering on the seconds/minutes watching the time go slowly up up up oh so slowly up. Trying to tear my eyes away, I started staring at the weight equipment that was directly infront of me. Now focused on something other than my burning thighs and the relentless need to gasp for air, everything seemed to fall back into its proper place. Then 2.5 miles hit-25 minutes in. Technically speaking that is only 5 more minutes until I hit the 3 mile mark. By that time I was feeling pretty defeated and I wanted to stop. But you know what kept me going? The chanting in my head-If those fat asses on the biggest loser can run for 5 minutes on the tread mill, by golly, so can I! So I plodded through those 5 minutes, huffing a bit, yes, but I did it! And I felt victorious! But what about those extra 2 miles to hit my daily 5 mile mark? I was able to do 1.25 more miles at my standard pace of about. Then I just pooped out. But, I did it, and I guess I can say I owe it to the reality TV show The Biggest Loser (though of course I would have just found something else to keep my mind occupied and continue to run if there was no such thing as television-but then I wonder, would I have been running, exercising, eating healthier, even caring about my own self-image if it wasn't for television? I can't answer that, obviously, but I think it would be amazinig to find an alternate universe in which I could find the answer for that.)
Such ends my lunch hour.
Ciao!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Reconsideration...
I was about to post something profound (not really) that I had looked up on my random google searches. It was based on a conversation that happened last night. A term, maybe a bit derogatory, had come up and I, in my infinite google power, just needed to find out why this term was what it was and where it came from. But, alas, I shall refrain from posting at this time only due to the fact that I read another blog that indicated how harmful and hurtful it is to use derogatory terms. I step aside on that one and after the storm has passed through, I shall return.
For now, I will leave with a quote of my own. Written in despair, the meaning is quite comforting.
It's the long and twisted road we take. You turn around hoping to find the light from which you came so you can return, but to your dismay, you find out the only thing is untrodden hill sides of dark grey masses that urge you to move on, even though you know that you are going in the wrong direction. If you ever do find your way back, nothing would be the same, and you will wish that you would have just kept walking and should have forgotten about everthing you left behind.
Ciao!
For now, I will leave with a quote of my own. Written in despair, the meaning is quite comforting.
It's the long and twisted road we take. You turn around hoping to find the light from which you came so you can return, but to your dismay, you find out the only thing is untrodden hill sides of dark grey masses that urge you to move on, even though you know that you are going in the wrong direction. If you ever do find your way back, nothing would be the same, and you will wish that you would have just kept walking and should have forgotten about everthing you left behind.
Ciao!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
No Betty Crocker
So, I thought that after my 2 mile trek in the 5 inches of snow last night to the bank, I should probably not spend anymore money for awhile. It's almost kind of sad. You walk for an hour after midnight after 5 inches of frozen water fell from the sky only to realize you are as broke as a joke. But it is no joke, no one is laughing-well, maybe the guy driving his Ford down the road watching me running through the snow in my drunken stupor. I'm surprised I wasn't killed-what with walking on the street half the time and pouncing in the snow on the unseen sidewalk the other half. Not to mention the impairment involved from beer and vodka laced with cold medicine. I'm sure if I would have been completely sober I would not have put on my Rebox running pants, snow boots, mittens and Nike hat at 12:30 in the morning just to deposit money into the bank. With that said, eating in tonight. Hmmm...what to make. Considering the only reason I have to be in the kitchen is to get another beer-wait, the beer is downstairs. OK, so I literally have no reason to be in the kitchen then. I am no Betty Crocker, Susie Homemaker or even George Foreman for that matter. But, I'm hungry, cold and tired. I'm going to make something worth eating. And maybe if they are lucky, I'll take it over to my neighbors so they can enjoy the wonderfulness of my creation. I should probably try to make something first, though.
...
I just made a quiche. I have no idea how it will turn out or if it will even be worth eating, as previously mentioned, my culinary skills are lacking. I also have a tendency not to follow recipes and just go with how I feel. Throw in a little bit of that, a little bit of this. Well, I guess when making such things as quiches and pies-or anything that specifies a certain size baking container for it to go in, you should heed by the quantities outlined in the recipe. My filling was just a bit overflowing. And my crust...well, you don't really see the crust much anyway, right?
I believe I will now watch some more Green Wing while I wait for my lunch to cook and then maybe I'll head on over to the neighbors. I'm sure they have their driveway shoveled by now. Heck, I shoveled this morning after I was torn from my slumber by a friend in need. Mind as well be productive after a phone call like that, I suppose. Now what do I do? Make food and watch HuLu!
Ciao for now!
...
I just made a quiche. I have no idea how it will turn out or if it will even be worth eating, as previously mentioned, my culinary skills are lacking. I also have a tendency not to follow recipes and just go with how I feel. Throw in a little bit of that, a little bit of this. Well, I guess when making such things as quiches and pies-or anything that specifies a certain size baking container for it to go in, you should heed by the quantities outlined in the recipe. My filling was just a bit overflowing. And my crust...well, you don't really see the crust much anyway, right?
I believe I will now watch some more Green Wing while I wait for my lunch to cook and then maybe I'll head on over to the neighbors. I'm sure they have their driveway shoveled by now. Heck, I shoveled this morning after I was torn from my slumber by a friend in need. Mind as well be productive after a phone call like that, I suppose. Now what do I do? Make food and watch HuLu!
Ciao for now!
Friday, February 5, 2010
One day on and....
Yeah! I have a follower! Just wait until later, I'm bound to have PLENTY to talk about. Tonight is book club night. I have begun to think that the only reason why certain members keep coming is just to be in my presence. Of course that is just what my psychologically messed up thought process may say to me as I lie awake at night holding onto my pillow for dear life. "No, they do like me. They do like me..."
I sit here sipping on my orange juice (infused with a bit of vodka and rum) thinking about the last book we read. What was it again? Oh, right...Good Omens. Well, a satirical writing of the end of the world. I wonder if the English versus was any better than the American version...if that says anything to those reading, need I go on? I highly doubt the conversation on the actual book will last more than 20 minutes (more for the fact that only three of us actually read the book and two of the three will be talking about other facists of life-not saying that's a bad thing...)
Hmmm...I am now just trying to figure out when enough is enough. Maybe I should not have posted my self-image post earlier. I was actually going off of what another blog read-interestingly enough the only follower I have right now (sorry man, don't report me! By the way, you are so not fat!! KISSES!)
Well, my dinner of vodka infused orange juice is going to my head. I'm sure that will make for excellent writing, but I must get ready for the outing in the cold, snowy weather. Off to discuss the fundamentals of good versus evil. *sigh* and a little boy who made it all go away. Such poetic justice...
I sit here sipping on my orange juice (infused with a bit of vodka and rum) thinking about the last book we read. What was it again? Oh, right...Good Omens. Well, a satirical writing of the end of the world. I wonder if the English versus was any better than the American version...if that says anything to those reading, need I go on? I highly doubt the conversation on the actual book will last more than 20 minutes (more for the fact that only three of us actually read the book and two of the three will be talking about other facists of life-not saying that's a bad thing...)
Hmmm...I am now just trying to figure out when enough is enough. Maybe I should not have posted my self-image post earlier. I was actually going off of what another blog read-interestingly enough the only follower I have right now (sorry man, don't report me! By the way, you are so not fat!! KISSES!)
Well, my dinner of vodka infused orange juice is going to my head. I'm sure that will make for excellent writing, but I must get ready for the outing in the cold, snowy weather. Off to discuss the fundamentals of good versus evil. *sigh* and a little boy who made it all go away. Such poetic justice...
Self-Image Insight??
We all know that self-image is everything. How we see ourselves, how others see us, how we think others see us, how we want others to see us. It's a big part of our lives. And in Western Society (ie. U S of A) we are pulled even harder to make ourselves look 'better' in the eyes of others. But what does 'better' really mean? Skinnier? More muscular? More...dare I say, plastic? When is skinny too skinny and when do you stop lifting weights? I guess you can say when you can no longer find clothes that fit, but 'they' already solved that problem. If you have the money and the time, you can find clothes to fit any body type. What have we been reduced to? More and more Americans are running to sign up at the nearest gym, web search the newest diet fad and under go possible life threatening surgery just to preserve what this society claims to be the perfect body look? Is that healthy? Drastic diets and hard core exercise isn't necessarily healthy if you do it wrong. And for a lot of people with low self esteem and horrible self-image, they use this method as the 'quick fix'; not caring what happens in the future, they are just looking in the 'now'.
But, it doesn't matter how much work someone does on the outside, if the inside is 'broke' then the outside won't matter.
So, when an average person comes up to me and claims they are fat, I just turn and walk the other way. You can't reason with someone who holds a distorted self-image, unless, of course, you have a degree in psychology and spend you life researching possible ways to help said person(s).
I can preach it, but can I live it? It's been a long time coming, but I have to admit, I can finally say my self-image is no longer distorted and I can now see myself for who I am versus what I had always thought of myself.
But, it doesn't matter how much work someone does on the outside, if the inside is 'broke' then the outside won't matter.
So, when an average person comes up to me and claims they are fat, I just turn and walk the other way. You can't reason with someone who holds a distorted self-image, unless, of course, you have a degree in psychology and spend you life researching possible ways to help said person(s).
I can preach it, but can I live it? It's been a long time coming, but I have to admit, I can finally say my self-image is no longer distorted and I can now see myself for who I am versus what I had always thought of myself.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Today
Today I started a blog. Never thought I would do it. Hmmm...what to do now. I guess open up my mind and let people view what has been brewing there for *blank* number of years.
I googled my own name and found out I was wanted in two different states. Of course I was also 54 years old in one state and presumed dead in another. Interesting how you go your whole life thinking you are one of a kind and then this 'google' comes along and all of a sudden you are just another one of them. Probably a good realization. Who wants to drift through life thinking that they are unique and uncompromising? I guess that's why they have such things as blogs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm new to this...
I googled my own name and found out I was wanted in two different states. Of course I was also 54 years old in one state and presumed dead in another. Interesting how you go your whole life thinking you are one of a kind and then this 'google' comes along and all of a sudden you are just another one of them. Probably a good realization. Who wants to drift through life thinking that they are unique and uncompromising? I guess that's why they have such things as blogs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm new to this...
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