...but now it won't stop. Which is worse, the bloating and pressure from being constipated for two days, or the fact that once you are able to poop, it just won't stop coming? I was literally on the pot for 20 minutes with it screaming out of my back side. I seriously thought that if I looked in the murky water I might find a trail of my intestines, or worse, a liver. What would I do without my liver?! The cramps that presist are killing me! My eyeballs are swimming in tears of pain as I sit hunched over the keyboard right now. Which is the lesser of the two evils? Can't I just have a happy medium? Like, semi-loose stools that leave relief in its wake? Not constant pain that I can't even breathe.
Not to mention I was trying to run a good 3 miles when it started. I was able to run the 3 miles, but it wasn't good. And I'm sure the people around me didn't appreciate the gas expelling from my bung hole. Hey man, you got to do what you got to do. At the end of my run (which ended up lasting 4.5 miles) I grasped the sides of the treadmill, a grimace that some mistook for a smile of completion on my face. I don't poo in public, get me out of here and get me home! Of course I was stopped by every single traffic light and stuck behind a cell phone driver going 25 in a 35 and breaking every 5 seconds. Oh my Jesus! But I made it home and on the pot in time for it to bluuuuubluuuuubluuuup into the toilet water.
Wait, oops, got to go!
Ciao!
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