Evening remembrance...

I have been trying to live my life in such a way that shows I do not need a man in order to be happy. I hold strong to this belief. It is nice to be admired by the opposite sex, don't get me wrong, but I just don't feel the necessity to go out of my way in order to spend my life with one other human. The whole 'courting' thing that, if doesn't end in heart break and turmoil, only leads up to the overly priced wedding, which will (of course as long as you can stomach that person forever) lead to either your eventual death knowing you will leave behind your loved one, or their eventual death leaving you behind, an old hag no longer suitable for the dating scene.
Of course what does not help in the matter is the fact that I am human and I do have emotions (though quite lacking) that bubble from their depths in the pit of my being on occassion, usually while drunk. And the lingering stare that could have meant nothing but a quizzical look at a girl with dishoveled hair caused by the relentless dancing to karaoke infront of a crowd trying to watch a Basketball game (13 in a row-go Cavs!!), at that time felt like it was more of a flirtatious glimpse from someone too shy to make the connection in actual conversation. But at least he knows my name!
I put myself through these scenario's over and over again, hoping that one day I will realize what it is I want in my life and if I want to be "alone" or if I would rather spend it in a loving embrace until my end of days. I just winced as I wrote that last comment, so maybe the former of the two will be more up my alley.
Until I can put asides what fears or reservations I may have about the above, right now I will spend my days a single woman...and happy.

Ciao!